i. I need to focus on my work for school because tumblr is the thing I immediately think of when going home, not writing or reading or biking or doing math problems. Which isn't the best.
ii. I think my writing suffers from my overuse of tumblr, because I use it as a stress release the same way I use writing as, but I tend to get lazy with my poetry and prose when there are tons of archives to file through on tumblr, ja feel?
iii. I have made lots of deadlines. short story deadlines, script deadlines, music deadlines, zine deadlines, project deadlines, painting my room deadlines, saving money deadlines, etc. Basically I want to use my free time only making. It's a difficult task to add something I hate (self discipline) to something I love (creating). But I'm doing this to make some peace between the two, because motivation is something that doesn't really exist...like puff the magic dragon (I thought he was real for a while because I used to watch this cartoon with dragons and it was bad because my mom broke it to me when I was 12).
I get stuck sometimes when words don't magically flow onto the page, or when my art doesn't look great from the start, but I mean just like clay, it takes a long ass time to make something. You've got to get all the air bubbles out so it won't explode when you fire it, you've got to make sure it isn't too dry or thick, you've got to score it right so the pieces stay together, you've got to keep molding it, and it may look a little different from the pot you always dreamed of. But watch it be the thing your grandmother can't stop showing off to all her friends at the book club.
bad analogy...I know...but I'm probably gonna be laughing at it a month from now so it's okay.
I am gonna write for an hour tonight, but I won't post anything formal until tomorrow.
until then enjoy this:
my faith is humanity has increased,
casey
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